I just read an article about your terribly inappropriate behavior toward a high school student; the girl that idolized you enough to wear that dress. While I was reading, I couldn't help but wonder how much her mother worried for her and that dress; knowing that she might be held up to scrutiny at school for being different. I wonder if she voiced her concerns. I try to imagine the confidence it must have taken this teenage girl to wear the dress she felt most beautiful in; because it was like yours. I wonder if it was your voice in her head that encouraged her to be bold and true to herself.
And then I feel sad for you.
I feel sorry that you took such a beautiful testament of love and belief that someone had in you and made it ugly. I think of that old, cheesy saying, "Hurt people, hurt people," and I try to understand that you yourself have been ripped apart by the media. I remember seeing your picture while in line at the grocery store, and trying to imagine the force you must be; to be able to endure all of that negativity and still leave your house.
The media has too much power, I thought; and I'm sure I prayed for you.
Today I'm praying for the girl you beat up because you could. With a simple hashtag, you can have all of the attention you want, and you used it to set a torturous ball in motion.
I wonder if you knew that would happen...or if you even stopped to think about its possibilities. I wonder if you're aware that you have turned into that source of hate I was praying you would escape. And then I see more pictures of tweets to young girls; mocking their "avi" pictures, and their disappointment in your behavior. I wonder if they too learned from you that it was okay to be strong and speak their minds. These girls that looked up to you; idolized your power and strength, only to be crushed by it.
I wonder how you sleep, or if you do...knowing that the pain someone inflicted upon you; that pain magnified by the cameras and the news, and all over the tabloids is now yours because you choose to own it.
"Hurt people, hurt people," that is true... but it's still a choice.
Shame on you.
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