Thursday, May 21, 2015

10 Things I Would MUCH Rather Be Doing Than Spring Cleaning

Spring cleaning SUCKS BALLS! Here's a list of ten things I'd rather be doing.

If you're anything like me, you LOVE spring, but LOATHE spring cleaning. I'm definitely not a fan of winter, but I am a fan of the fact that dust bunnies hibernate. Winter is dark and cold and I'm usually far too depressed for company anyway so who cares if my house is a dreadful mess covered in cobwebs? 

Granted, I may be the only one in the house that doesn't care, but I'm also apparently the only one who knows how to dust, so I win. 

As the weather gets nicer, and can feel the pressure mounting. 

I'll do it, but let's be very clear there are plenty of other things I'd much rather doing.


1. Wrestling a schizophrenic bear

2. Drinking rubbing alcohol out of a homeless man's belly button

3. Playing naked leap frog with a unicorn

4. Bleeding from my eyes

5. Shaving an ornery Sasquatch

6. Scrubbing my face with a Brillo pad

7. Walking on hot coals after drenching my socks in gasoline

8. Chewing a handful of thumb tacks

9. Coughing up a lung

10. Breast feeding a baby piranha 

What did I miss? What would you rather do?

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