Thursday, May 21, 2015

10 Things I Would MUCH Rather Be Doing Than Spring Cleaning

Spring cleaning SUCKS BALLS! Here's a list of ten things I'd rather be doing.

If you're anything like me, you LOVE spring, but LOATHE spring cleaning. I'm definitely not a fan of winter, but I am a fan of the fact that dust bunnies hibernate. Winter is dark and cold and I'm usually far too depressed for company anyway so who cares if my house is a dreadful mess covered in cobwebs? 

Granted, I may be the only one in the house that doesn't care, but I'm also apparently the only one who knows how to dust, so I win. 

As the weather gets nicer, and can feel the pressure mounting. 

I'll do it, but let's be very clear there are plenty of other things I'd much rather doing.


Like... 


1. Wrestling a schizophrenic bear

2. Drinking rubbing alcohol out of a homeless man's belly button

3. Playing naked leap frog with a unicorn

4. Bleeding from my eyes

5. Shaving an ornery Sasquatch

6. Scrubbing my face with a Brillo pad

7. Walking on hot coals after drenching my socks in gasoline

8. Chewing a handful of thumb tacks

9. Coughing up a lung

10. Breast feeding a baby piranha 


What did I miss? What would you rather do?


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