November 19, 2013

Judgment STILL Sucks; Thank You, Jennifer Lawrence

During an interview, Jennifer Lawrence voiced her opinion regarding the television show "Fashion Police" on E!. Jennifer thought it was "...showing these generations of young people to judge people based on all the wrong values and that it's OK to point at people and call them ugly or fat[.]" 

If you read this blog you know how much I love the The Judgement Game.  If you don't usually read this blog, I am not a fan. We have become a society of, "never good enough", and we're callously passing this terrible message down to our children. 

While I'm sticking my nose in your business so I can judge the way you parent, dress, talk, blog, date, think, etc., my kids are watching and taking notes. Besides, when I'm done judging you, there's someone waiting in line to judge me! When does it end?

We're all doing the best we can with the tools we have available to us. We can't always do things the same way because we don't all have the same tools.

Imagine the world as one big, huge sandbox.  Pretend it is our life's goal to design and build a sandcastle. This castle can be as fabulous or understated as we choose. There are a limited amount of tools to work with though so we cannot all build at once. 

Some of us will share our tools with others and provide the support they need to fulfill their purpose. Others will hoard their tools to ensure that no one can build a better castle than theirs. There will also be those that will only share their tools with people that build castles according to their rules. My point is that we're failing miserably here, People. Everyone has the right to build their own castle, their own way, with whatever tools they need without fear that someone will smash it just because it's different.

I understand that it is my responsibility to instill in my children values and morals, but I believe that the media has a certain responsibility too. After all, I cannot compete with the plethora of junk television, movies, billboards, and the messages that advertisers are blasting all over the place. It's ridiculous to think that I can. All I can do is keep the lines of communication open and teach my kids by example. 

These days, my teenaged daughter is pretty sure I'm the least cool person on the planet, and I might sound like Charlie Brown's teacher at this point. Does it really matter how many times I tell her that self-esteem comes from doing esteem-able things while the rest of the world is shouting that it's based on what shoes she's wearing? I haven't given up hope, but come on!

Most of the young women our girls look up to in the media have either been in the news and under scrutiny or carefully coasting under the radar. Both are disappointing on many levels for obvious reasons, but as long as we (as a society) keep loving the drama, the media will just keep pumping it out. We point and laugh and say "tisk tisk" at girls like Miley Cyrus, Amanda Bynes, Brittany Spears, and Lindsay Lohan, why? To feel better about ourselves. THAT is the only reason for judgment. I build up faux self-esteem by simply believing that I'm better than you. Sure, I may be fucked up, but look at you! You're a fucking train wreck! The only problem with this type of esteem is that it's like a balloon filled with helium. It might float the first day, but as time goes on, it loses its power to fly. 

Some people will argue that The Judgment Game is harmless fun. These same people will act horrified when one of our kids ends their life tragically as the result of being bullied. What's the difference? 

Here's a hint: There.Isn't.One.  

So, Amen, Jennifer Lawrence! Thank you for speaking out against, "the cool kids", and for sharing your tools with us. It means so much to know that there are a few of you out there (Lady Gaga, too) who haven't been drinking the Kool-Aid. It gives me much hope that we can someday turn this shit show around and learn how to respect each other's choices instead of placing judgment. 

I'm keeping my fingers crossed.

photo credit: nikobradshaw via photopin cc photo credit: xlibber via photopin cc

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  1. Amy Gurley11/19/2013


  2. Considerer11/19/2013

    I *heart* your brain. SO with you on this.

  3. The Shitastrophy11/19/2013

    Now if only this would work in politics and religion too….

  4. ocdbloggergirl11/19/2013

    I still love hearing what the mayor of Toronto did though, and thinking " Hey, well at least I'm not Rob Ford." Otherwise I generally fail.

  5. Chris Carter11/20/2013

    It's a shame isn't it? A constant battlefield- always. You nailed it. :) ONward we go... with whatever gear and tools we need to fight the good fight- accepting one precious soul at a time.

  6. MolleyMills11/20/2013

    I am in love with her right now! She is exactly what our kids need. A real role model! Thanks for hooking up to the Hump Day Hook Up

  7. foreverfiveblog11/20/2013

    These annoying teeny boppers are becoming more and more important to me because I know how important the media might become in my daughter's lives one day. For now, we are a no-television family but my kids are 4 and 2 so it's not an issue. I don't know what the age will be when TV and media become cool and even addictive (although I am praying for better than that), but I hope more Jennifer Lawrences get popular between now and then!

  8. Thanks, Lizzi. I *heart* your whole head. I win.

  9. There's nothing wrong with smoking a little crack now and then... I understand that judging is the easier thing to do, but we're all taking part in some craziness for all the same reasons. If we could only meet in the middle some where that would make me happy. :)

  10. That sounds lovely. I'm IN!

  11. MolleyMills12/11/2013

    Thanks for hooking this up. It's always a great reminder.

  12. Linda Roy12/11/2013

    I so agree. And Jennifer Lawrence is a great role model in a sea of…not great role models. I watched part of that Victoria's Secret thing last night rolling my eyes and praying for female humanity.


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