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Next Life, NO Kids: Dear Moms: Wine Is Not A Food Group

September 15, 2017

Dear Moms: Wine Is Not A Food Group

I'm SO tired of everything "mom" having to do with alcohol. Wine is not a food group, and normalizing abnormal drinking is dangerous; not just for moms, but also for our children.

I'm sick of seeing martini glass emojis in my inbox at 7am. I've grown weary of ignoring and avoiding certain "benign" and "lighthearted" jokes about day-drinking and your "borderline alcoholism." I'm sick of remaining silent, and I'm not sorry if that rubs people the wrong way.

If your first response is to scold me for my ignorance, because you don't even drink as much as you say you do online, I'll beg you to say that out loud first and let it sink in. Go ahead... I'll wait.

It's clearly trendy, hip, and popular to cosign and promote the mom drinking culture, but I've been pretty unpopular my whole life, so I guess I'll live.

The idea that there are two groups of drinkers, "alcoholics and non-alcoholics" is a bit archaic. Just because you're not an alcoholic doesn't mean drinking too much can't harm you. Your non-alcoholism is not a Get Out Of Jail Free card or a shield against the problems that can and will result from consuming even one too many.

You don't have to be an alcoholic to get a DUI. "Alcoholism" is not a requirement for any of the consequences of drinking or dependency. Alcohol doesn't much care how you personally identify yourself before you start drinking. Buzzed is buzzed and drunk is drunk. Some might even argue that social drinkers who foster a healthy relationship with alcohol don't often experience or enjoy either.

To be honest, I'm not even sure after all these years if I actually qualified under that "alcoholic" diagnosis or not. What I can tell you is that my life got better after I stopped hiding behind the relief I thought I was getting from a drink. I believed in the all or nothing approach then, and thankfully it worked for me.

Had I been subjected to this current culture back then at age 22, I wonder how much more suffering I would have endured to fit in with the cool moms. I wonder if the message that getting lit was the normal thing to do as a mom would have kept me from seeking treatment.

I wonder how long it would have taken me to end my life, leaving my daughter motherless, or for me to end up in the news as one of those horrible monster mothers.

Maybe you think I'm exaggerating, and that's okay. I'm not, and I have spoken to countless other women who have felt the societal pressures to drink, even after making the decision to stop.

**Drinking is NOT a required tool for surviving motherhood.**

The message that it is is about as f*cked as some of the woman buying into it might be if we don't stop spreading these horrible rumors trying to make "Drunk Mom" adorable.

I promise you, she's not always adorable.

Ask me, I'll tell you.

Tweet: Dear Moms: Wine is Not a Food Group https://ctt.ec/befvS+ via @NextLifeNOKids

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** If you or someone you know is struggling with problem drinking, please know that abstinence is not the only option for recovery. There are programs and treatments in place to help people find healthier relationships with alcohol, and support for risk management. Visit the Sober Mommies resource page for an inclusive list of other options!





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