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Next Life, NO Kids: That's Right, I Hate A Four Year Old

June 18, 2013

That's Right, I Hate A Four Year Old

There's not much that I hate more than that ungrateful little shit named Caillou, and his obnoxious sister Rosie. If I were their mother, I would live in the bathroom. 

Of course the kids love it, because who doesn't enjoy listening to a spoiled kid tantrum and whine about playing outside and eating lunch? 


Anyway, the stupid theme song for the wretched show is as catchy as tuberculosis, so I'm often stained with it for hours. Someone once told me that pain is mandatory, but suffering is optional. So...

Don't judge me; this is my very first vlog. I'm trusting you with my vlirginity. 

Make it special, People!!




Here's a little cheat sheet, in case you want to sing along. 



My Version Of The Stupid Caillou Song

I'm just a mom who's sick,
Of that little Caillou prick,
Who wants to claw their eyes?

 I do...

My kids seem to think he's swell,
I wish he'd fall into a well,
Who feels like they're in Hell?

 I do...

My ears are bleeding every day, 
with whining and crying, 
he's never okay!

Throwing up is not so tough, 
compared to this show, had enough, 
who is writing this dumb stuff? 

Caillou, 

DON'T WATCH 

Caillou...



Kill me!





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30 Comments:

At 6/18/2013 , Anonymous Norine, Science of Parenthood said...

Ah the Cult of Caillou! Fortunately, I missed out on this torture, um TV show. But my partner Jessica has been subjected to endless hours. She may never be the same. We agree: Caillou must be killed. Psst: We know a guy. ;)

 
At 6/18/2013 , Anonymous shellthings said...

LOVE the song! Caillou is SO whiny. My boys have finally outgrown him and I'm so relieved.

 
At 6/18/2013 , Anonymous Angie (mouthsofbabes.net) said...

Ha! Thanks for the laugh!

 
At 6/18/2013 , Anonymous IThoughtIKnewMama said...

LOL - I'll never look at Caillou in the same way again. :-)

Visiting via the Honest Voices Linkup.

 
At 6/18/2013 , Anonymous Dana said...

Is that crap still on television? My kids watched it years ago - when will that little shit grow up and move out? Love your theme song - very creative, Julie! Also loved seeing your pretty face as you make me laugh :)

 
At 6/18/2013 , Anonymous nlm2007 said...

Omg yes! Finally someone who feels the same way about that whiney voiced little shit head....sorry for my foul language... lots of hate for him...and love the song :) only thing just as bad is sponge on. Of course my son loves both :/

 
At 6/18/2013 , Anonymous Sarah @ LeftBrainBuddha said...

I can't STAND Caillou but my kids love him!! Oh the whining.......

 
At 6/18/2013 , Anonymous One Funny Motha said...

All I can think is that someone w/o kids created that show & thinks that's how all kids behave. That show was the pain of my existence when my daughter was younger. Glad that's over with.

 
At 6/18/2013 , Anonymous Sara McCall said...

I love this! And you :)

 
At 6/18/2013 , Anonymous Kimbra said...

Absolutely love the song and so glad that two of my kids are out of that stage and baby spawn has yet to ever see it and if I have my way never will

 
At 6/18/2013 , Anonymous The Shitastrophy said...

That was freaking awesome! Love the throwing up part. And I totally hated this kid. Wanted to drop kick him every time it was on. Not to mention mom who allows this whiny little twerps behavior to continue show after show. She needs to get her head out of her ass and learn to parent.

 
At 6/18/2013 , Anonymous yvitini said...

That. Was. Awesome. I actually had to endure that with not my kid, but her older cousin when I was babysitting him. Caillou is such a bad influence--the damn kid started acting JUST LIKE HIM. Hopefully mine NEVER discovers that hell. Ever. Jerry Springer would be better than Caillou.

 
At 6/18/2013 , Anonymous AnotherCleanSlate said...

I will never watch this show now. Thank you. Love the vlog!

 
At 6/18/2013 , Anonymous Mommy Needs Martinis said...

Just when I thought I couldn't love you any harder, THIS!

 
At 6/19/2013 , Anonymous Tracy @ Momaical said...

Bahahahahahahaha awesome! I hate that little fucker as well. Someone should have euthanized him years ago. When the theme song starts my kids say "We know, Mommy. You hate Calliou."

 
At 6/19/2013 , Anonymous MolleyMills said...

OMG! I commented on the vide on youtube but I love it!
Thanks for hooking it up to the HUmp Day Hook Up

 
At 6/20/2013 , Anonymous Julie Of Next Life, NO Kids said...

I might need that guys name, cuz I have a list ;) Give Jessica a hug from me and tell her she's not alone.

 
At 6/20/2013 , Anonymous Julie Of Next Life, NO Kids said...

I'm so happy to have you in my corner on this Tracy. Caillou is the God damned devil.

 
At 6/20/2013 , Anonymous Julie Of Next Life, NO Kids said...

MUAH!

 
At 6/20/2013 , Anonymous Julie Of Next Life, NO Kids said...

I could not agree more and I hate Jerry Springer too. It's sad that our youth has someone so wretched to look up to and mirror. He IS a bad influence, you're 100% right!

 
At 6/20/2013 , Anonymous Julie Of Next Life, NO Kids said...

It is important that you know about my phobia of puking. I would rather throw up all day long than listen to this kid go about his miserable life. His mother has to be on something to put up with him. His father looks like a woman.

 
At 6/20/2013 , Anonymous Julie Of Next Life, NO Kids said...

Thanks Kimbra! (I love your name BTW) I will pray that Baby Spawn will never get a glimpse. :)

 
At 6/20/2013 , Anonymous Julie Of Next Life, NO Kids said...

XOXO I love you more!!

 
At 6/20/2013 , Anonymous Julie Of Next Life, NO Kids said...

Well, that person is a jerkburger and should be punished with a whole day in front of repeat episodes. Come to think of it, perhaps the CIA could use this show as a means of psychological torture... Hmmm. We might be on to something.

 
At 6/20/2013 , Anonymous Julie Of Next Life, NO Kids said...

It's terrible for sure. I'm sorry that you have to put up with that. Know that you're not alone. At least now you have new words to sing when the song gets stuck!! ;)

 
At 6/20/2013 , Anonymous Julie Of Next Life, NO Kids said...

Of course he does. :( Have you come across many parents that like the show? Dear Lord, stop talking to them immediately! He is a shit head and I have genuine concern for anyone over five that appreciates him. ;)

 
At 6/20/2013 , Anonymous Julie Of Next Life, NO Kids said...

Seriously!! How long is he going to be four? He keeps saying that each day he grows a little more, but I don't see it! I love you dearly. Thank you so much. XO

 
At 6/20/2013 , Anonymous Julie Of Next Life, NO Kids said...

Anytime! :)

 
At 6/20/2013 , Anonymous Julie Of Next Life, NO Kids said...

Thanks!! You are SO lucky. I fear I have several more years of this torture... unless it's canceled. God, I wish that would happen.

 
At 7/01/2013 , Anonymous Georgie Lee said...

Caillou is pretty annoying. His voice makes my ears bleed.

 

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