This is the face of Depression.
I think I was thirteen the first time someone said that word to me. My parents had "concerns" because I had been withdrawing. I learned very quickly after that how to hide behind masks and avoid this concern.
Depression has been a long time companion of mine and along my journey I have met some amazing people that know her too. There have been many times in my life that the words, "Me too" have saved me. My most recent experience with depression was one of them.
After I had my youngest son in 2012, I fell flat on my face in what I can only describe as an emotional abomination. I felt broken, alone, and scared of my own thoughts. I hated myself because of them and spun in a circle of defeat. I found some blogs about depression and felt less alone. The words I read pulled me up very slowly. I found the courage to write down my own and I found freedom.
The amazing blogging community saved my life. They took me under their wings and encouraged me every day to speak my truth until it didn't feel ugly anymore. The face of depression is NEVER ugly. It's the feelings of despair, the secrets we hide behind beautiful smiles, and all the lies we tell ourselves that are ugly.
So, today I share my truth alongside many of the amazing women that helped me out of my darkness. Today I celebrate a Day Of Light and help to break the silence that Depression wants me in. If you are struggling, please know that you are not alone. Please know that there is hope. Please believe that you are beautiful, powerful, and worth it.
Please let someone help you.